January Blues...
Now as I mentioned in the intro, January Blues, seems insanely high this year! Maybe its been a tough time for more people of late, or maybe people are just finally opening up about their thoughts and feelings rather than bottling it up!
I know I'm struggling this year:
- Pains not great with the cold weather,
- I'm still grieving the loss of my Dad from September (which I know I've essentially delayed the grieving process as I was having to be strong and tackle every issue that arose straight after)
- Housing issues since Dad's passed
- Feeling alone (even with having THE greatest friends, boyfriend and sister - that feeling still niggles at you!)
- Money is always a worry
- An issue I've never really had personal experience with, but have been riddled with since Dad passed, ANXIETY! I worry and panic about everything! All the time!
So lets continue this anxiety chat, I realise I'm being very open online and I don't care! It's strangely therapeutic and who knows, someone may be reading this and breath a sigh of relief that someone else is feeling this way.
I lost my Dad at the end of September and I've felt lost since. He was my best friend, my parent, my biggest supporter and my protector. (Along with all of that to my sister too)
Whenever I did worry or have a glint of anxiety in the past, Dad sat and reassured me I'd be okay and we would sit and do some breathing exercises. Then the best thing he did, his big bear hug! I always knew things would be okay being wrapped in his arms and him telling me "you'll be fine, don't panic" I guess now I don't have that, I feel like without it, it won't be okay.
It sounds silly and again... I don't care, I'm 26 and I miss my Dad. He was my safety blanket. He kept me sane.
Myself and my sister were so lucky to have such an incredible Dad. He raised 2 teenage girls alone, and not normal ones either. One with highly severe OCD & Anorexia and one with M.E and Fibromyalgia. He was and always will be our hero cause he wasn't well either, bless him.
I'll do a post separately about grieving - but boy, did I NEED to write this. I've just bawled my eyes out!!!!! (Bottled emotions much......)
There has been so much anxiety caused since his death, I'm having to move house, I feel alone, I worry about who I'm gonna lose next, financial struggles, and just worrying about life from now - because the last 10 years despite my own illnesses I've been his primary carer and now, I don't have that. It's just a big bundle of panic, worry and stress. BUT... BUT... BUT... I'm still going!!!!!! This is why I'm writing this, we all have our issues, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially etc BUT... WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING!!!
I owe the fact I'm still going to the best friends, sister and boyfriend a girl could wish for! Dealing with my random bouts of tears, my silent phases, my worry breakdowns and then making me smile again.
I'll share some more personal stories on how these guys are all so incredible as we go on, for tonight, I think that will do.
If you need a chat, or want to know or find out more on anything - let me know!
Take it easy.
Jo x
I know I'm struggling this year:
- Pains not great with the cold weather,
- I'm still grieving the loss of my Dad from September (which I know I've essentially delayed the grieving process as I was having to be strong and tackle every issue that arose straight after)
- Housing issues since Dad's passed
- Feeling alone (even with having THE greatest friends, boyfriend and sister - that feeling still niggles at you!)
- Money is always a worry
- An issue I've never really had personal experience with, but have been riddled with since Dad passed, ANXIETY! I worry and panic about everything! All the time!
So lets continue this anxiety chat, I realise I'm being very open online and I don't care! It's strangely therapeutic and who knows, someone may be reading this and breath a sigh of relief that someone else is feeling this way.
I lost my Dad at the end of September and I've felt lost since. He was my best friend, my parent, my biggest supporter and my protector. (Along with all of that to my sister too)
Whenever I did worry or have a glint of anxiety in the past, Dad sat and reassured me I'd be okay and we would sit and do some breathing exercises. Then the best thing he did, his big bear hug! I always knew things would be okay being wrapped in his arms and him telling me "you'll be fine, don't panic" I guess now I don't have that, I feel like without it, it won't be okay.
It sounds silly and again... I don't care, I'm 26 and I miss my Dad. He was my safety blanket. He kept me sane.
Myself and my sister were so lucky to have such an incredible Dad. He raised 2 teenage girls alone, and not normal ones either. One with highly severe OCD & Anorexia and one with M.E and Fibromyalgia. He was and always will be our hero cause he wasn't well either, bless him.
I'll do a post separately about grieving - but boy, did I NEED to write this. I've just bawled my eyes out!!!!! (Bottled emotions much......)
There has been so much anxiety caused since his death, I'm having to move house, I feel alone, I worry about who I'm gonna lose next, financial struggles, and just worrying about life from now - because the last 10 years despite my own illnesses I've been his primary carer and now, I don't have that. It's just a big bundle of panic, worry and stress. BUT... BUT... BUT... I'm still going!!!!!! This is why I'm writing this, we all have our issues, mentally, physically, emotionally, financially etc BUT... WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING!!!
I owe the fact I'm still going to the best friends, sister and boyfriend a girl could wish for! Dealing with my random bouts of tears, my silent phases, my worry breakdowns and then making me smile again.
I'll share some more personal stories on how these guys are all so incredible as we go on, for tonight, I think that will do.
If you need a chat, or want to know or find out more on anything - let me know!
Take it easy.
Jo x
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